Goodness, is this overdue or what? Rhetorical question…
WARNING: this is long and no CliffsNotes available. If you
do not know what CliffsNotes are, visit
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/about-cliffsnotes.html.
So we spent 3 weeks at the Kinderspital with an update
almost daily, and now 3 weeks at home with nothing. Not because we haven’t
wanted to… To say we have our hands full with Mayla would be a slight
understatement.
We (all 3 of us) have been through the proverbial “ringer”
since coming home. The first night was probably the best in terms of amount of
sleep allowed by Mayla, maybe she still had some drugs in her. Since then Mayla
has quite a few up and down days but this is seemingly “normal”, I guess. We
have had plenty of struggles, some of which seem to be normal for any new set
of parents, adjusting to day vs. night, sleeping at night, constant crying,
trying to figure out what the constant crying means, difficulty going to sleep,
difficulty feeding, etc. But we’ve also had some “things” that don’t seem to be
so “normal”, some of which may impact those that seem to be “normal”. We’ll
touch on each of these briefly.
One of the more pressing issues seems to be a significant
amount of discomfort coming from her stomach. I really don’t know how to
describe the sounds that come from her abdomen, but it may resemble the garage
area of a NASCAR race with terribly running cars, and no mechanic to tune them.
This is also something that happens almost continuously, not only around or
after feedings. Unfortunately for all of us, there is not much a pediatrician
can do about the situation given Mayla can’t talk, yet, to explain what the
issue is AND she continuously gains weight despite the aforementioned feeding
struggles. We theorize that this feeds into some of the other struggles making
life not quite as pleasant as it could be for our little girl.
Another is that Mayla seems to be ultra sensitive, possibly
looming from the tummy stuff in some respects. She does not respond kindly (and
she’ll let you know) to being moved, picked up, passed to others, and quite
often touch if she is laying or sleeping peacefully. This includes being
transferred from one parent to the other, even going from Dad to the
“all-healing” Mommy.
Mayla is also extremely tense. Fists clenched, arms and legs
bent and flexed almost all the time. In fact, when we hear her stomach rumble,
if she isn’t all clenched up she quickly assumes the position. If she is
already clenched up, she demonstrates Ninja like moves unseen for centuries.
Really quite amazing.
You ever watch one of those action movies where some crazy
dude does something you think is nuts, like jump from a 10 story building or
cliff and you know he’s going to get hurt, then when he does, he unleashes
wretched screams of pain and agony? Yeah, that sporadically happens in our
ears, for no apparent reason, though we “think”, it may still be associated
with tummy pains. It’s agonizing to hear, and even more so to witness. Simply
breaks your heart because you can see pain in her face but you have no idea
where it comes from.
You ever see that cartoon episode with Pluto where he
accidentally gets drunk and gets the hiccups and they violently shake his body
and his little puppies get sky-rocketed off his body? No? Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEmYbWDqHyw. Though this is not an exact
representation, Mayla gets arguably the most vicious hiccups I’ve ever seen.
Every time it reminds me of a cartoon similar to this one with Pluto or another
where the characters head shoots straight up off their shoulders though still
attached to their neck. As you can imagine, this wreaks havoc on an infant
almost immediately bringing tears and looks of “what the heck is happening to
me dad?” She gets these following almost every feeding, and not always
immediately following, sometimes an hour later and is even awoken from her
sleep. We actually should have expected this since she had the hiccups all the
time in utero.
When she is tired and desperately needs to go to sleep, if
she is not crying, she is fighting going to sleep. At first, it’s super funny
because you watch her little eyelids slowly close, like a draw-bridge coming
down in the middle of rush hour traffic and you are already late for work
(slow-motion style). Then, just as her upper eyelashes gently and loving and
sleepingly touch her bottom eyelashes, they quickly pop up like a teen-age boy
getting caught by his dad kissing a girl. She fights going to sleep daily as if
she is going to miss out on something, like we are secretly having a “she’s
asleep” party. We try to explain that it is nothing like that, in fact we are
usually begging and pleading with her to sleep so we can sleep too. We have
begun theorizing that she heard too much Schwyzerdütsch in the hospital and she
doesn’t understand English because she keeps fighting.
In addition to the above mentioned sleep deprivation
routine, her yawns (the big ones) seem to be exceedingly painful. The ones
where it seems she is going to yawn out of her own body and stretch her arms or
legs right off her body. Those ones must be painful because she tends to let
out these hideous cries of pain and agony and “am I gonna die dad?” immediately
following them. Further disrupting the possibility of going to sleep or drawing
her out of a light sleep.
Lastly, (I think, as if it’s not enough) feeding has
improved while at the same time worsening. While in the hospital, one of our
prayer requests was that Mayla would adjust to nursing, particularly as we left
for home. Well, prayer answered, in a BIG way. To the extent that she no longer
likes to take a bottle and has no problem expressing her displeasure with the
fake, clear, hard, uncomfortable plastic thing. To be honest I don’t blame her,
but this isn’t about me. This makes for a VERY tired Keri who has to nurse and
pump at all hours of the day. Mayla also occasionally screams out in seeming
pain during feedings, again, sporadic and for no apparent reason but has extremely
painful looks on her face. Until a few days ago, she absolutely would NOT take
a bottle. We have decided to be diligent in our attempts and have found a
strategy that is working; unfortunately it requires 4 hands, making individual
outings difficult. Adding to the feeding complications, she is a VERY sporadic
eater. No schedule or consistency whatsoever. Nor is she regular in how much or
how long she feeds. As of late, in the evening she seems to act as if we have
never fed her before while during the night she may feed for 5-10 minutes
before passing out like a drunkard. This however causes more frequent feedings
through the night. You can see where that goes, tired momma. In the morning she
is incredibly irritable like your trying to feed her brussel sprouts or (insert
your least favorite vegetable here) and has no desire to feed except she is
starving to death AND super tired because her sleep was probably not all that
restful.
To summarize, Keri married a high maintenance man and he
unknowingly passed that gene to his daughter. For the record, we joked from the
beginning we will get 1 of 2 children. Child 1, and probably the more preferred
of the two, who receives all the good stuff Keri and I have to offer the world.
Child 2, and the one we seem to have, who receives a few of the good stuffs and
a load of the not so good stuffs. Despite all this, she is one of the greater
gifts we have received in our lives.
And while we have had our share of struggles, and if you
count the 3 weeks in the Kinderspital one could argue more than our share, we
have had some incredible moments and witnessed many, many miracles and amazing
blessings. Under the direction of a man I know and love and respect greatly, I
am going to go through and make a list of all the blessings and miracles we’ve
witnessed and experienced because though the struggles can not take our joy,
they sure can knock us down a notch or two. Once we have done this, we’ll post
it to brag on how good, awesome, and great our God really is. For now, I’m
going to “briefly” recap the since-home blessings.
• Prayers for
Mayla’s lungs have been answered. We now realize we probably should have spent
less time praying for Mayla’s lungs…
• Mayla’s
heart is “perfect”, according to the pediatrician. We go to the cardiologist on
the 29th and look forward to their prognosis as well.
• Mayla has
well adapted to nursing, prayer answered, though we probably should also have
prayed she would continue to readily drink from the bottle.
• When we
left the hospital Mayla was prescribed no at home medication, a miracle in it’s
own right, but we did have to add 5 grams of formula powder to 100 ml of milk
twice per day so she would continue to gain weight. After just a few days, and
20+ francs for a can of formula we barely touched, we were able to take Mayla
off the powder additive because she was gaining too much weight.
• She seems
to have learned the difference between day and night, despite the fact she
wants to stay up for the party that never happens.
• She REALLY
likes hanging out on her changing table and having her diapers changed. In
fact, it’s one of the few places she can just hang out. We prayed about diaper
changing before coming home because she did not like it at the hospital. She
has no problems here though. In fact, if she is on her table when getting the
body deteriorating hiccups or limb-popping yawns, she doesn’t cry out in pain.
Hmmm.
• Mayla has
also, FINALLY, begun to fall asleep on her own. Not all the time, but every
step forward is a blessing.
• She really
seems to enjoy taking baths. We suspect she fancies herself an Olympic swimmer
already (don’t tell the cardiologists, they said no Olympic competitions) and
finds bath time an excellent opportunity to practice. Tonight I think she was
into water aerobics/gymnastics and tried jumping out of the tub.
• We are
learning new methods to keep Mayla sleeping when laying her down. It often
involves strategically placing arms, hands, and any other necessary limbs, in
such a way as to not move any part of her body. Again, not every time as we are
still learning, but every step forward…
• The
pediatrician has recently given us some medication that “might” help with her
stomach issues. We cannot say for sure if it’s working or not, but it could be.
The symptoms we suspect are related to the tummy are more sporadic the last
couple days, but there is a chance the meds are helping. Time will tell for
sure, maybe…
• In Keri’s
8th & 9th month of pregnancy, she learned about the bouncy exercise ball
and the benefits of sitting on such a ball. We also heard vicious, scathing
rumors about how the ball helps encourage not-yet-borns into dropping and
making their appearance. While it didn’t help at all with getting Mayla out, we
have learned this same ball is exceptionally soothing for Mayla, and might be
one of the only things that can soothe her in almost any situation. Downside,
it’s tiring and boring to bounce on that thing for hours straight, and you
can’t get any work done, and the continuous motion puts me to sleep (only
slightly unsafe) and makes Keri sea sick.
• I am a Moby
Wrap stud. That’s right, stud! I will put my Moby wrapping skills against
anyone, big, small, male, female, young, old, alive, dead, whatever. And Mayla
likes to hang with daddy in the Moby, at least that’s what I think because she
falls asleep.
• Mayla
smiles at us
• You can
tell she has begun to recognize us
• You can see
she loves us and wants to be with us
• She makes
us smile and laugh
• We continue
to fall more and more in love with Mayla
• We fall
more in love with our Papa for all he has done, is doing, and will do
So that was pretty long, and only about Mayla. Still to come
is my journey (otherwise known as shameful confessions) through all of this and
I’m sure Keri will add her own experiences as well. So consider this part 1 of
a 3 part series, I guess. Sorry we waited so long to get this out, but if you
have had children, you know we were not exactly “waiting”…
If you are still praying with us for our treasured daughter, please pray with us through the struggles we mentioned. We are completely convinced, given our vast medical knowledge & Google, that without the tummy issues (if in fact that is her problem), she would be completely cooler (cuz she is already cool in her own way). Also celebrate with us for the awesome things the Father has done, and even that are to come. Thank you all for your support and prayers, friendship, and emails checking in while we seemed to have vanished. We love you all, and may the Father who is in control of all things (even when it seems that may not be the case), encourage and comfort you through the work he has done with us and especially with Mayla. He continues to reveal himself and challenges us to grow outside of ourselves, and for that we are blessed and incredibly thankful.
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passed out on the couch, probably faking it though
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this passed out is for real
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trying to emulate the sleeping environment she
"seemed" to enjoy at the hospital; didn't last long
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| tub time |
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graduation night for the new family; Mayla had a feeding
during the ceremony so Keri didn't actually see the graduation though...
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size comparison
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| just cool |
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more happy bath time
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yup, the infamous bouncy ball
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King Moby
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first trip to the pumpkin farm
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she's just cute!
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more of our adorable daughter...
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