Big ultrasound news.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

We are more in love than this morning. Baby Nani was one active, adorable, sweet little one pound 3 ounce thang and we are thankful!!! She's in the 75 percentile for height and 47 percentile for weight, I had NO idea that growth charts started in-utero, but we now have the start to our special girls baby book collection!

The atmosphere in the dim lit examining room was lighthearted. Will and I both sat (well I laid) in great anticipation of the news, but unfortunately it was just silence which lead me to start talking. I informed the rad tech that I was interested in knowing as much as she was able to share as she was looking around; She gladly started communicating! The very first image that popped up on the screen was the stomach, and to me something looked wrong, and I was afraid my worst fear for the day would be coming true. When I walked in that office today, it was not the fear of seeing or hearing our baby still had anencephaly, but that our baby had more complications or problems than they had originally seen, that's what consumed me most! She looked, and looked and measured, and captured, and looked some more and snapped more photos, all while saying nothing looked abnormal. However I didn't want to assume anything so just kept praying!

After almost an hour, the lady was done getting the images she needed and asked us if there were any photos in particular we wanted, I told her I really wanted a profile picture. When I walked in, that was the ONLY thing I wanted to walk out with, a full picture of our girl that we could frame! However, In the words of the rad tech, 'she is not cooperating today'. What's funny to us about this saying is that we heard it EVERY ultra sound with Mayla, and here we were again, it made us both chuckle! She tried and tried and tried, but Baby Nani was a moving and a shaking and no picture was possible. So she moved on to try and get a 3D pic, we NEVER got one for Mayla, becuase she NEVER cooperated so I thought this would be a great memory to have of baby Nani. I also was VERY interested in seeing a 3D image so I could see the severity of the anencephaly, did it start just above her eye sockets, or did she at least have a forehead. Can you believe Baby Nani's hands/arms where in the way every time she tried? She could never get a clear view and the 3D images where not turning out so stellar. She finally gave up on the face and went for the legs, those were even a struggle and once she captured them you could tell she was not too impressed with her results.

We ended on a positive note as she had nothing new to report in her findings, I felt relieved and excited. I can handle the anencephaly, I have come to accept that, what would have been hard is hearing that on top of anencephaly the baby has a hole in the heart or missing body parts or some other aliment which is normally paired with anencephaly. I felt blessed and was grateful for the news we were receiving and clung to the hope that we still have 15-18 weeks for God to perform a miracle if that's HIS plan!

We then went and met with a doctor who just so happened to walk in right when I had tears streaming down my face. Will and I were in the middle of a deep Jesus talk and I had hopped aboard the emotional roller coaster. She was sweet, comforting and a wonderfully caring person to be around! She too communicated how hard it is to prepare to say hello and goodbye in the same breathe. She listened as we talked and she had compassion in her eyes! We asked her about organ donation and how we could set something up ahead of time so it would be one less thing to worry about later on. She had no idea but tried to connect us with two people who she thought should know! She asked questions we had not thought about, which left me feeling like bricks were being stacked upon my shoulders. 'Have you thought about the possibility of bringing this baby home with you?' Have you thought about perinatal hospice being around when you bring your child home to help out?' Do you want a doula, not so much for birth assistance but someone to help control friends and family after birth and help communicate with others to give you and Will some breathing room?' I told her honestly, I think about the day I'm in, and up until now i've been in emergency mode wondering when I will be rushing to the hospital having miscarried. Today was the first time I thought I might actually need to pack a hospital bag and deliver this child. I was overwhelmed, what is God going to do?! We talked about natural birth over c-section, being paired with another mentoring family that has traveled this road before us, and even discussed the possibility of us being a mentor couple to another family going through what Mayla went through. Have I mentioned I just want to go to sleep and it's 6:30pm?!

Dr. Jean said our baby was beautiful, and besides the skull, she was perfect. She reported that every thing they checked came back normal, something else that elated me. They want to see me back in 10 weeks. At that time they will be monitoring the amniotic fluid. Anencephalic babies have a tendency to not drink enough amniotic fluid which leaves me 'filled to the brim'. It's only a problem if it interrupts my breathing and then they have to empty some out. OH JOY!!! Praying that does not happen.

Are we disappointed by today's results? Absolutely not. God still has 15-18 weeks to work, and we will surrender to whatever that looks like. We will continue to be used by Him in whatever capacity He chooses.

meet our squirming little baby Nani.