The walk up to the building held many emotions, but mostly what was consuming my mind at that moment was where and when should I feed my daughter. I had no idea how long the appointment was going to be but I knew we needed to get some food in her beforehand. I went and registered her and found out the appointment was not going to start for another 30 minutes, so thankfully time was on our hands. We immediately began warming the bottle and I started praying it would go well, especially since they had mentioned her appointment was going to last about an hour and 45 minutes!
Not sure if you remember from previous posts, but Mayla is NOT a bottle drinker. She did okay in the hospital when she had too, but once she started realizing that I could be the main source, she said, "NO more to that, give me JUST mommy"! So each time it's a bottle moment (which are usually at pretty important times) I get a little nervous. But Sweet Mayla stepped it up and proved that she could do it, and I was praising the Lord.
As we were walking down the hallways to the hospital, I was flooded with a mixed bag of feelings. I still couldn't believe this was our little girl we were taking for a heart check up, it all still seemed like a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from. We walked into the cardiology station and I was reminded of when I first came into this room and I wanted to cry. Our first trip here was when we were in Neo Natal, it was one of the first times I could walk with my daughter, cradling her in my arms, and today I was doing the same thing. Trying to bring her peace before she would once again be placed on an examination table to be poked, prodded and scanned! I told her over and over it was going to be okay, and that mommy and daddy would take her home that day and not leave her in the hospital. I wonder what she can remember from those first three weeks, if anything. She had a look about her like she knew the place. Another baby was screaming, and she seemed to have a look of care on her face, machines beeped at one point and she seemed to have a look of familiarity upon her, like she knew that noise. When she was laying on the table to be examined, she would just stare up at the heat lamp, and her mind seemed to be trying to figure things out.
First on the agenda was checking her oxygen levels, heart rate, pulse, weight, and height. We could lay our girl on the big examining table, she looked lost in the 'bigness' of everything, but yet she looked so so strong and confident! She laid there in her diaper, her scar sticking out and for a moment it was all I could focus on. They attached the heart rate monitor to her foot and I was taken back to the ICU. I was remembering when the machines would beep and beep and beep, and they would always first look to see if the monitor was attached properly to her foot. They would some times have to readjust it and would wait to see if that took care of the problem. My heart always felt like it would stop in those moments, wondering if it would pick up a strong signal again, or if they would start running around franticly looking for a doctor. Today the machine was beeping, but it wasn't because of anything 'wrong' per say, but only because one active little girl who would not stop moving long enough to allow for a good reading. It's like she is making up for the first 3 weeks when she was on drugs and barely moved, she is now telling the world that things work, she's healthy, and she's going to prove it, she seriously does not hold still! The nurse tried holding down her leg, but our little squirmy wormy found a way to keep the machine from getting an accurate reading and then the nurse asked if I could pick her up to try and get her to 'calm herself'. I held her little leg in my arm while pulling her close to my chest in hopes that it would work, and it thankfully did! I now how those hospital people work and I was afraid they would give her sleepy drugs if she didn't cooperate (actually is it wrong to wish they had so I could have taken the left overs home). The nurse finished attaching wires and reading all the machines and uttered the sweetest words, 'Oxygen levels are at a 100%!' I rejoiced and praised the Lord. Since being home I had wondered daily if she was getting enough, if her random crying spells were becuase she was suffering, or her days looking like an albino turkey were because she was not at optimal levels, but here she was, 100%!
The doctor came in and it was fun to see a 'familiar' face. She knew us, she knew our story and she knew our journey and most importantly, she knew sweet baby Mayla! She took us to another room where they had an ultrasound machine ready to go. I laid Mayla on the table and they applied the big glob of gel, and for a while (what felt like hours in my mind) she laid there, so still as if she knew the drill. I was so proud of her, especially since she had not had a proper nap all day and people kept putting things on her and moving her and touching her, she was doing great! Unfortunately that didn't last the whole appointment (it takes them a while to see and find what they are looking for, especially since Mayla's heart is 'different', things aren't in the same place as on a 'normal baby'). She started to get fussy and the doctor said if she continues she'll get some sugar water, I think Mayla heard this and took her fussing to a new level of all out crying. Sure enough, the doctor went and got sugar water and one squirt of that into her mouth and the crying stopped. If you wonder some day why my child is addicted to sugar, it's nothing we as parents have done, but what the hospital staff has done:) After a bit more fussing, and some more sugar water, Mayla finally gave into her tiredness and closed her eye lids (such a sweet sight) and the doctor was able to finish the exam and once again utter such sweet words, 'everything looks great'! THANK YOU JESUS!!!! She also said that from her side as of now, there is no reason why Mayla can not live a 'normal life' and run and play like all the other kids! I was glad to hear this as i don't think there is ANY stopping this child from going 110%!
The nurse came back in and hooked up some wires to Mayla's chest, taped them down good and then gave us the 'little black box' to take home with us that would record her heart for 24 hours. She once again got another pretty fish net shirt to keep everything in place. This time though it wasn't too big for her, it was actually too small, and I was reminded of the first time she had one of those on and seemed so frail. Today she looked so big and strong. The nurse then had to remove some stickers that were placed on her with what seemed like gorilla glue and the best way to do it was to spray freezing cold air onto the skin as she peeled them off, and awake our daughter was....again! We were given instructions on what to do with the black box after 24 hours and instructed to write down everything Mayla was doing during those 24 hours. Every time she slept, write it down, every time she ate, write it down, every time she cried, write it down. Some times I wondered if this isn't so much a heart scan, but they attach those to the children so they can see how the parents are doing and I kept thinking there was a hidden sound device inside!
We took our little warrior, who almost seemed to have a time bomb hooked up to her by the way this ECG device looked, and out the door we went, getting a green light until the next check up in 2 months. They will read the ECG in the next week and if we don't hear anything, then that means everything looks good, so hopefully we don't hear anything!
I look at Mayla now, and I don't see a baby with a heart problem, I only see Jesus' love. Mayla is perfect and I am so thankful for the miraculous healing that has taken place in her and continues to take place daily!
 |
| Mayla checking out the alto familiar heat lamp. |
 |
| Despite being held down she must think this is fun. |
 |
| Trying to distract her during the ultra-sound. |
 |
| Sure do enjoy the effects of sugar water. |
 |
| A much deserved nap. She was OUT after all the hospital fun. |
Great news.
ReplyDelete